This post was inspired by a question that a parent posted in a facebook group wondering what they can do to support their child who was recently diagnosed with dyslexia.  If that question resonates with you, take a deep breath and keep reading because you’re in the right place.

The question got me thinking about what I did a decade ago when I started by journey.  I thought about what helped and what didn’t.  Let me start by sharing that just when you think you’ve discovered everything, something else will come along and you’ll be reminded that it’s a journey that you travel at your own pace.  

That said, let’s talk about three specific, actionable things you can do to start your journey.

Action #1: Understand what dyslexia is

You are going to want to learn as much as you can about dyslexia.  Read everything you can get your hands on, listen to every podcast that you can find, talk to parents of dyslexic children.  Everyone has a unique journey but you will start to see commonality.  

I think the most important thing I can tell you is this: dyslexia has nothing to do with intelligence. The brain of a dyslexic individual is simply wired differently when it comes to processing language. In fact, some of the most brilliant, creative, and successful individuals are dyslexic. Think Walt Disney, Charles Schwab, Steve Jobs, Jennifer Aniston, Richard Branson, just to name a few.  

You are going to come across a lot of stuff so let’s discuss a couple of common myths.

• Myth #1: Dyslexia is about seeing letters backward.  I am going to admit that many, many moons ago, before my daughter’s diagnosis, I thought that reversing bs and ds was a sign of dyslexia. Little did I know that letter reversal happens to many budding readers.  As children become more proficient in reading, this reversal goes away.  The reason for this has to do with the part of the brain that we use for reading.  It’s the same part of the brain that we use to anchor visual items.  Let me give an example to explain what I mean. When we look at a chair, our brain understands that it’s still a chair even when we see a chair that is upside down.  Now think of the letters: b, d, p, q.  If you take a b and turn it upside down it becomes a p. Flip it and now it’s a q. Because we are using the same part of the brain that told us a chair is a chair, is a chair, we need to “train” our brain to accept the logic of a chair but not apply this to letters.  That takes time.  That is why letter reversal is quite common in budding readers but goes away as they become proficient readers.  Dyslexic students can be stuck in the “budding readers” stage at an older age.  The letter reversal can continue until they become proficient readers.  Bottom line is that letter reversal really isn’t a defining trait. The core issue of dyslexia lies in something called phonological processing which is the ability to hear, identify, and play with individual sounds in words. An analogy might be like trying to build a LEGO castle when you can’t quite identify the individual bricks. It’s much harder to build the castle and it will take time.
  
• Myth #2: People with dyslexia can’t read. This is absolutely false. As an OG tutor, I become so excited when my students “crack the code.” Sure, reading can take a bit longer but people with dyslexia can and do learn to read fluently? I think this notion stems from the fact that dyslexics may require many more exposures to a concept before it sticks in long term memory. For example a non dyslexic may “learn” something after 20 exposures while a dyslexic needs 200 exposures.  It’s not just the number of exposures. Learning needs to occur in a way that makes sense for their brain. They will not learn through simple exposure; they need to be taught the code of the English language directly and systematically using as many of their senses as possible. 

The International Dyslexia Association has a fabulous website that is chock full of information and resources.  This can be a great starting point for a parent in their journey to understanding what dyslexia is and isn’t. You might also want to read a few books on the subject.  I highly recommend the book “Overcoming Dyslexia” by Sally Shaywitz.  Another good one is “The Dyslexic Advantage” by Brock Eide and Fenette Eide.  There is a lot of information to absorb to pace yourself!

Action #2: Focus on Their Strengths

The academic part of a school day can be incredibly taxing on a dyslexic child’s self-esteem. They work two or three times as hard as their peers just to keep up. It’s easy for them to start believing that their struggles define them. One of your most important jobs is to be their chief confidence-builder and not let them give up. 

• Find and nurture an “island of competence.” What is the one thing your child is passionate about and feels good at. It might be soccer, art, video games, robotics, or caring for animals. Whatever it is, give them every opportunity to shine in that area. This builds a strong sense of self that is separate from their academic struggles. If you’re not sure what that is, ask them.  It’s not about participating in 5 activities rather find 1-2 that they like doing and want to become better at.  This also emphasizes the importance that it takes time to become good at something. What Malcom Gladwell refers to as the 10,000 hours doesn’t just happen.  It’s built over time through perseverance and repetition.   
• Acknowledge their effort, not just the outcome. Say things like, “Your persistence is so impressive,” or “You spent so much time studying for that science test. I am so proud of your hard work.” Help them discover how they learn best.  One student of mine was having difficulty learning his multiplication tables. Only when it was taught to him as a series of stories did it begin to stick.  Add in sky writing, and saying the facts outloud all contributed to his learning his times tables. Multimodality works. 

Think of their self-esteem as a bucket. School might poke little holes in that bucket every single day. Your job is to pour in so much love, encouragement, and recognition of their unique strengths that the bucket stays full. 

Action #3: Become an Informed Champion

Think of a champion as a person who supports, defends and promotes another person.  In order to advocate for your child, you need to “learn the lingo.” The educational system has its own language, and in order to understand what they are saying (or not saying) you need to speak the same language. I call this edu-speak and understanding the basics of educational law will transform your anxiety into confidence.

• Learn the lingo. You’ll hear terms like “IEP” (Individualized Education Program) and “504 Plan.” These are formal plans that schools create to give your child the support they need. You need to learn the difference between the two, so if you are told that your child doesn’t qualify for an IEP, you can request a 504 plan. You’ll need to understand the difference between:”modifications” and “accommodations.” Modifications change the curriculum while accommodations do not. This is important to know as many private schools will offer accommodations but may resist modifications. Simple accommodations like extra time on tests or access to audiobooks can be game-changers for your child, and will allow them to show what they know without being penalized for their reading speed.  In trying to learn educational law, ask yourself how you like to learn?  Would you prefer to attend a workshop, read a book, or listen to an audio recording.  Join social media groups and ask questions.  Think of yourself as a sponge and absorb as much information as you can.   If you like training workshops check out Wrightslaw.com.  Checkout the store section of the website,  or search through training tab in the menu to see what is available. There are several videos that provide excellent training on understanding the basics of educational law.  
• Document everything. Start a binder or a folder on your computer. Keep copies of report cards, test results, emails with teachers, and any evaluations. Put everything in writing.  Send an email to request a meeting; send an email to summarize a telephone conversation; send an email to …well you get my point.  The reason that this is vital is because at some point in the future you might need to build a case for your child.  That won’t be possible unless everything is in writing from the beginning. 
• Teach self-advocacy. You will not always be with them so teaching your child how to effectively express their needs is critical. Encourage your child to advocate for themself. Let’s face it, teenagers don’t like to be different and self-advocacy can mean calling attention to themselves.  There are many YouTube videos about self-advocacy. Watch them together and talk about what might work for your child. Start small and model ways to approach a teacher to explain their needs. It’s a skill best built over time.

So, let’s recap what you can do 

1. Learn everything you can about dyslexia;
2. Give your child an opportunity to excel in non academic areas;
3. Become informed about educational law. 

I personally know that this journey can feel OVERWHELMING. But please hear me when I say that you and your incredibly unique child will find the right path. You’ll do this, one day at a time.